The New Frontier - A Father's WisDUMB

In a world full of confusion, it's hard to find what we need to lead our families well. This can often leave a gap in us and our dad skills. Throughout the year, we want to help you bridge that gap with truth, stories, and time-tested fathering skills. We don't want to father your sons for you; we want to EQUIP YOU to father them. We believe in you and who God has created you to be.

This is why, at the beginning of every month, we offer you some wisdom that we've learned from years of either fathering our sons or being fathered by God. We spell it w-i-s-D-U-M-B because often, the wisdom we've gained is from making the wrong decision and seeing that there is a better Path forward. Some wisDUMB will be short bites to get you thinking. Others will have practical steps you can take with your boy. Whatever it is, we believe they will help you engage and experience all God has for you and your son this year.

Click through the titles in the green menu below for each wisDUMB.

Sonship Challenge Coin Ceremony

This month, you have a unique opportunity to present a challenge coin to your son. Grab this month's Aventure Kit. Pull out and open the envelope with a Question Mark (?). Pour the contents into your hand. These are TNF Sonship Challenge Coins. One is for you; the other is for your son.

Coins have been connected to traditions throughout history. Merchants laid coins in the hulls of their ships to bring good fortune. Those celebrating a Spanish wedding threw coins to the bride and groom as they began life together. Roman commanders gave their soldiers coins for acts of heroism in battle. Beyond these, the giving of a coin has had profound and powerful meanings throughout history.

If you've been in the military or worked for the Defense Department, you know what a challenge coin is. They've been an American military tradition for a century, meant to instill unit pride, show membership in a group, improve esprit de corps, and reward hard work and excellence.

The Sonship coin represents something similar. These coins signify membership as God's sons; as sons, we belong in our True Source's family (Community). We participate in his Mission and live his Code as a son. This month, you have a unique opportunity to challenge your son to begin living as a beloved sonship. As you hand him the coin, you will invite him to receive God's answer to his identity question and challenge him to begin living from that identity. You will call your son up from his Imposter Path onto the Path of Sonship.

How do I prepare?

We recommend setting aside between thirty minutes to an hour for this. Mark it on your calendar.
Read the next section and prepare what you want to say to your son.
Let your son know when you want to get together (but don't tell him what you're doing).

How does the Ceremony work?

1. As the giver, you have the coin in your closed right hand. Extend your hand out and open it, revealing the coin. Your son clasps his right hand with yours like in a handshake. At this point, explain what the coin represents. You don't have to say the following, but here is a short example of what you can say:

This is a Sonship Challenge coin. Since January, we've searched for the answer to our identity question. Now, we know what it is. We are beloved sons of an amazing heavenly Dad. We mean this coin to be an ever-present reminder of that amazing truth. One side has an axe and knife; they represent you and me. We are on this Heroic Journey together. The other side is a compass brand with four letters representing the truths of our core, heart. The "I" stands for Identity. You and I are beloved sons of a good Dad who wants the best of life for us. He sees, knows, and loves us fully. The "M" stands for our Father's mission to pursue our heavenly Dad's heart and love those around us as he would. The first "C" stands for community. We belong to a much bigger family now. We have a place at our Dad's table that only we can fill. Everyone who receives his Call to sonship is your brother and sister. The final letter, "C," stands for Code. Once we receive sonship, our heavenly Dad asks us to follow him and LIVE as sons. When we live as his sons, we follow Jesus into our Garden State and walk with him on the Path of Sonship. This coin is an invitation to receive beloved sonship and a challenge to choose to live as a son day in and day out. Do you (Son's name) receive your heavenly Dad's invitation and accept this Call to adventure?

2. If (and when) he says yes, turn your hands over 180 degrees so the coin lays in your son's open hand. Remove your hand and allow him to close his hand over the coin. It now belongs to him. Pull the other Sonship Coin from your pocket. Verbally receive this invitation as a son and accept the challenge of living as a son. Tell him you are fighting with him, that he is not alone. Together, agree to keep these coins somewhere as reminders of your true Identity and challenge to live as beloved sons by following Jesus' example and living in relationship with your heavenly Dad.

3. Give him a big hug and affirm his choice! Now, enjoy a meal or treat to cap off his acceptance of this Call! Celebrate the joy of being brothers, and enjoy some time just the two of you.

4. After the ceremony, follow up with your son weekly. How is living as a son going for you? How can I help you? Share your struggles and successes in living as a son yourself! This will help create a rhythm of Identity and Code for both of you!

5. Make this YOURS. The above are loose guidelines. You know your son, and as his dad, we encourage and challenge you to create a time and space geared toward his unique heart! Make this FOR him. Add any elements you want to or change some of the language you use to speak to HIM. Whatever that intentionality looks like, do it!

Let us know if you have any questions or concerns or want to brainstorm other ways of doing this for your boy. We are ALWAYS here to support you.

Montana Trip Checklist

Packing List

Do you have everything? Here is the packing list one last time: Click here for packing List Link

Off the Grid Policy

Have you read through this ESSENTIAL trip policy? If you have comments or concerns, please get in touch with us BEFORE leaving for your trip. Click here to ead the policy.

Travel information

Have your travel arrangements changed? We need updates (Including travel day updates). If you don't text us, you may end up walking to the Ranch! :) Click here for all travel guidelines.

Emergency Contact Info

Have you given your wife/loved ones the TNF Emergency Contacts? Don't forget to do so BEFORE your trip. Click here for Emergency Contact info.

Knife Ceremony

Not essential, but important. Make sure you read through the Knife Ceremony details BEFORE your trip, so we can discuss it together. Read details here.